Retro Review: CONQUEST (1983)

CONQUEST
(Italy/Spain/Mexico - 1983; US release 1984)

Every few years, I feel compelled to revisit Lucio Fulci's bizarre contribution to the 1980s sword & sorcery craze, thinking "I'll figure it out this time," and I never do. There's no making sense out of CONQUEST, an acid-trippy ripoff of CONAN THE BARBARIAN by way of EL TOPO, shot in the most gauzy, foggy, smeary lens filter this side of Robert Altman's QUINTET. About as coherent as fragments of a barely-remembered dream, CONQUEST has young Ilias (Andrea Occhipinti of BOLERO) sent by his people on a quest to defeat the nefarious Ocron (Italian CONAN ripoff fixture Sabrina Siani, billed here as the more American sounding "Sabrina Sellers"), an iron-masked, topless overlord who spends most of her time writhing with snakes, eating the brains of her victims, and ordering around her army of talking wolf/dog creatures who walk upright. Ilias gets some help from mercenary warrior Mace (Jorge Rivero, during his "George Rivero" phase). who becomes his mentor in their quest to defeat Ocron, who's later joined by her own masked co-conspirator Zora (Conrado San Martin). Mace and Ilias then spend a lot of time walking around and encountering various creatures of undetermined origin before their final, fateful laser arrow showdown with the evil Ocron and her minions.

Coming soon after the end of his unstoppable 1979-1982 run of iconic gorehound classics like ZOMBIE, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE BEYOND, and others, Fulci had grown into enough of a genuine auteur by this point--even if it hadn't yet been recognized--that you can see him attempting to imbue CONQUEST with his unique stamp. Claudio Simonetti's score is mostly then-trendy synth material, but there are some cues that are strikingly similar to Fabio Frizzi's work on CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, and it shares with it the same hazily nonsensical, anything-goes dream logic, plus Mace has a mark on his forehead that looks very similar to the "Eibon" symbol from THE BEYOND. From the laser arrows to the wolf/dog army to a drowned Mace being brought back to life by dolphins, there's no way to predict what will happen next in CONQUEST. Fulci also doesn't skimp on the trash and the gore: Siani is topless every moment she's onscreen, and there's plenty of gore, from cannibalism to scalping to one unfortunate female victim being ripped up the middle like a broken wishbone and disemboweled. His partnership with Fabrizio De Angelis over after the producer slashed the budget of 1982's MANHATTAN BABY by 75%, and his relationship with frequent screenwriter Dardano Sacchetti in tatters, Fulci is in hired gun mode on CONQUEST even with his attempts to personalize it, brought in by Italian producer Giovanni Di Clemente after the latter entered a co-production deal with Mexican producers/screenwriters Carlos Vasallo and J. Antonio de la Loma. 

Mexican actor Rivero likely came as part of the Vasallo/de la Loma package deal, as he starred in several of their past and future de la Loma-directed films, like the 1982 espionage thriller TARGET: EAGLE, the 1984 DEATH WISH-meets-CONVOY trucker revenge actioner KILLING MACHINE, the 1988 DELTA FORCE ripoff COUNTERFORCE, and the 1989 bare-knuckle brawler FIST FIGHTER. Rivero attempted to break into Hollywood when he co-starred with John Wayne in 1970's RIO LOBO and with Charlton Heston and James Coburn in 1976's THE LAST HARD MEN, but he never happened in the US. Instead, Rivero built a career in Mexico and overseas in Spain, with occasional appearances in a few straight-to-US-video titles in the 1990s, like the Traci Lords thriller ICE and the 1995 MST3K staple WEREWOLF. Released in the US by United Film Distribution Company in the spring of 1984, CONQUEST has its devoted defenders but is generally considered second, if not third-tier Fulci. It's not a good movie, but there's something to it that keeps drawing me back, whether it's the splatter and surrealism inherent to Fulci or some of the humor that seems intentional, like Ocron screaming "Stop him, Zora!" as Zora just emits an exasperated sigh and vanishes into thin air as if he can't even with this bitch anymore, or the closing credits caveat "Any reference to persons or events is purely coincidental." Thanks for clearing that up. (R, 89 mins)

Ripoffs of the Wasteland: 2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS (1983)

2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS
(Italy - 1983; US release 1984)

Directed by Kevin Mancuso (Aristide Massaccesi and Luigi Montefiori). Written by Alex Carver (Luigi Montefiori). Cast: Harrison Muller, Al Cliver, Daniel Stephen, Peter Hooten, Al Yamanouchi, Sabrina Siani, Donald O'Brien, Geretta Geretta. (Unrated, 86 mins)


The credits of the Italian post-nuke ROAD WARRIOR ripoff 2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS take great pains to make the movie look American. All of the technical credits are pseudonymous, starting with score composer Carlo Maria Cordio going by "Francis Taylor" and production manager Donatella Donati as "Helen Handris," all the way to the end with assistant director and future Italian horror auteur Michele Soavi (CEMETERY MAN) hiding incognito as "Mike Soft." But all of that effort is for naught early on with the repeated sightings of signs reading "DANGER: EXSPLOSIVE," the tell-tale, "Do Not Entry" sign from THE BEYOND that, despite the Herculean efforts of everyone involved, the ruse collapses thanks to the Italian prop guy. And if you watch enough of these, you'll start recognizing not only the same actors being dubbed by the same voices, but also the same Italian locations, as 2020's action mostly has the actors running around the same abandoned factory and the stunt drivers careening around the same gravel pit and dirt mounds that can be spotted in most entries in the subgenre.

Set in the ruins of Texas several years after "the Atomic Wars," 2020 focuses on the Rangers, a group of mercenaries led by Nisus (Al Cliver). The Rangers battle the jack-booted forces of The Black One (Donald O'Brien), a nefarious dictator-type who's trying to conquer the community so he can have access to a refurbished refinery that now produces clean drinking water. After an early Rangers expedition results in Nisus banishing Catch Dog (Daniel Stephen) after he tries to rape single mother Maida (Sabrina Siani, in one of her few appearances outside of an Italian CONAN ripoff), Catch Dog immediately switches sides and joins the Black One, using his knowledge of the Rangers to get back at his former cohorts. When Nisus (the character is listed as "Nisus" in the credits, but it sounds like the dubbing team is saying "Nexus," which sounds cooler) is killed in a raid by the Black One's goons and Maida is sold into prostitution, the rest of the Rangers--Halakron (Peter Hooten), Jab (Harrison Muller), and Red Wolfe (Al Yamanouchi)--rescue her and avenge Nisus by taking on The Black One and Catch Dog. Filled with the usual goofy-looking cars, mutant goons, wild stunt work, gun battles, "exsplosions," completely inconsistent beard continuity for Hooten and Muller, over-the-top violence, and a pretty impressive body count, 2020 is total guilty pleasure stupidity, right from the start with the Rangers killing about 50 bad guys before the opening credits are even finished. There's no shortage of bloodshed and the near-constant action keeps things moving briskly, but 2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS doesn't really try to take advantage of its setting. Other than a hand-painted "Texas" sign, and Halakron challenging Maida's cowboy pimp to some DEER HUNTER-inspired Russian Roulette in an old west saloon, no effort is made to create the illusion of "Texas," unlike the many post-nukes set in NYC, like 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK, where even a half-melted model of the Statue of Liberty went a little way toward creating some NYC atmosphere. 2020 does an OK job of being a post-nuke western of sorts--an idea more successfully explored in Giuliano Carnimeo's EXTERMINATORS OF THE YEAR 3000--but it mainly resorts to cliches and cringe-worthy stereotypes that would've been antiquated in the 1940s, like the late-film introduction of some constantly war-whooping "Indians" who stop just short of saying "How!" and "We smokum peace pipe" when they reach a tentative truce with Halakron and the Rangers and join their fight against The Black One.

Aristide Massaccesi (1936-1999),
 aka "Joe D'Amato," "David Hills,"
and at least 50 other pseudonyms

Released in the US in 1984 by short-lived grindhouse outfit Megastar Films and shown on TNT's MONSTERVISION with Joe Bob Briggs in 1999, 2020 was directed mostly by Aristide Massaccesi, who used countless pseudonyms over the course of his career, the most frequent and familiar being "Joe D'Amato." Massaccesi dabbled in everything, starting as a camera operator on Mario Bava's HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD (1961) before graduating to cinematographer by the late '60s and moving on to directing in the '70s, with everything from Laura Gemser's BLACK EMANUELLE films to the gore classics BEYOND THE DARKNESS, aka BURIED ALIVE (1979), and ANTROPOPHAGUS, aka THE GRIM REAPER (1981). As "David Hills," he directed several ATOR films during the post-CONAN craze, and under the name "Steven Benson," he would gather most of the cast and crew of 2020 for the same year's Italian post-nuke favorite ENDGAME. The workaholic Massaccesi also used the D'Amato name on several old-school Skinemax favorites like ELEVEN DAYS, ELEVEN NIGHTS (1986) and TOP MODEL (1988). By the early 1990s, Massaccesi was working exclusively in hardcore porn, where he would finish his career prior to his death in 1999. 2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS' direction is credited to "Kevin Mancuso," which is actually a shared pseudonym for Massaccesi and familiar Italian cult actor Luigi Montefiori, better known as "George Eastman."

Luigi Montefiori, aka "George Eastman"

Montefiori first gained notice as The Minotaur in 1969's FELLINI SATYRICON, and, as "Eastman," would later co-star in the Charlton Heston version of THE CALL OF THE WILD (1972) and with Kirk Douglas in SCALAWAG (1973), as well as one of the kidnappers in Mario Bava's RABID DOGS (1974), but that's about as classy as his resume got. As "George Eastman," he was a regular fixture in Eurotrash cinema, usually appearing in "Joe D'Amato" films. He starred as the cannibalistic killer in THE GRIM REAPER and in the D'Amato horror/porno crossovers EROTIC NIGHTS OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) and PORNO HOLOCAUST (1981), the latter known more for its close-ups of porn actor Mark Shanon's genital warts than anything else. "Eastman" is perhaps best known by post-nuke fans for his performance as Big Ape in 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK (1983). In addition to acting under his "Eastman" moniker, Montefiori scripted numerous films, either under his own name (1976's KEOMA) or under a variety of pseudonyms (as "Lew Cooper," he co-wrote Michele Soavi's 1987 breakthrough STAGEFRIGHT). Montefiori scripted 2020 under the name "Alex Carver," and wanted to try his hand at directing some of it as well. It's been rumored that Massaccesi handled the action scenes, which would mean he directed most of the movie. Considering they remained friends and worked together several more times over the years, it's doubtful that this was a situation where Massaccesi stepped in and took over for Montefiori. More likely, Montefiori wanted to get his feet wet behind the camera and Massaccesi delegated some scenes to the neophyte director. Cult actress Geretta Geretta--aka Rosemary in Lamberto Bava's DEMONS--had a small role in 2020 and when asked who directed what, she responded "All I remember is that the director was tall and handsome," which would probably indicate that the few scenes she was in were handled by the the 6' 9" Montefiori. If Montefiori wanted to branch out into filmmaking, it didn't really pan out after partnering with Massaccesi on 2020: to date, he's only stepped behind the camera on one other occasion, the Norfolk, VA-shot horror film METAMORPHOSIS (1990)--memorable to back-in-the-day video store denizens for having one of those great, gimmicky Imperial Entertainment VHS boxes--where he's credited as "G.L. Eastman." Now 72, Montefiori hasn't acted since 2004 and has spent recent years writing for Italian TV.

Despite being fourth billed in the credits, Hooten is the real star of 2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS, at least after second-billed Lucio Fulci regular Cliver gets Janet Leigh'd out of the film by the 30-minute mark. A native of Florida, Hooten worked steadily on TV in the early '70s with guest appearances on shows like THE MOD SQUAD, MANNIX, and THE WALTONS. Over 1977 and 1978, with a co-starring role in ORCA and the title role in the CBS/Marvel pilot movie DR. STRANGE, it appeared as if he was about to break out, but DR. STRANGE wasn't picked up for series and Hooten quickly became a Next Big Thing instantly forgotten. By the end of 1978, he made his way to Europe where he would work almost exclusively starting with Enzo G. Castellari's THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS. Already showing signs of disinterest in the projects he was being offered--his only Hollywood gig during this time came in a supporting role as one of Ken Wahl's commando unit in James Glickenhaus' 1982 actioner THE SOLDIER, and he didn't even stick around to dub himself for 2020, leaving it to voice actor Frank von Kuegelgen--Hooten only worked sporadically as the '80s went on. He eventually retired from acting in 1990 after starring in TROLL 2 director Claudio Fragasso's completely obscure NIGHT KILLER. It was shortly after shooting 2020 that the openly gay Hooten met Pulitzer Prize-winning poet James Merrill, and the two were together until Merrill's 1995 death from AIDS. Now 64, Hooten currently lives in Florida and came out of retirement in 2013 to appear in a pair of extremely low-budget Sarasota-shot regional horror movies, HOUSE OF BLOOD and SOULEATER.

2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS is a fun film, but between young Montefiori working with Fellini and Hooten almost becoming a Marvel superhero, it's also a film that those with once-promising careers settled for when they just needed the work. French-born Irish actor O'Brien was no exception. He got his start with supporting roles in big-budget films like John Frankenheimer's THE TRAIN (1964) and GRAND PRIX (1966) before finding his niche as villains and miscreants in a slew of Italian spaghetti westerns throughout the 1970s, going back to Sergio Sollima's RUN MAN RUN (1967), all the way up to era-enders such as Lucio Fulci's FOUR OF THE APOCALYPSE (1975), Enzo G. Castellari's KEOMA (1976), and Sergio Martino's MANNAJA (1977). He also played a Nazi general in THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS and an exorcist in Massaccesi's sleazy nunsploitation classic IMAGES IN A CONVENT (1979). O'Brien is best known to Eurotrash audiences for Marino Girolami's ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST (1980), where his zombie-creating mad doctor was granted the title role when the film was rechristened DOCTOR BUTCHER M.D. for its 1982 American release. Vacationing in Paris in 1980, shortly after completing his work on ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST, O'Brien suffered a serious head injury when he slipped and fell in the bathroom of his hotel room. After spending several days in a coma, he awoke to find he was partially paralyzed. 2020: TEXAS GLADIATORS was his first film after the accident and its effects are obvious: he has a halting limp and is often dragging his left leg, and the right side of his face demonstrates frequent, involuntary twitching very similar to that of Japanese actor Takeshi Kitano/Beat Takeshi in the aftermath of his 1994 motorcycle accident. Still, the veteran actor, while dubbed, manages to create a vivid impression with his shaved head, hammy overacting (check out his overdone Dr. Evil cackle at a not-very-funny joke that Catch Dog makes), and memorable death scene. O'Brien continued to act in films, but his paralysis took its toll. He required a cane and as the years went on, in later films like HANDS OF STEEL (1986) and THE NAME OF THE ROSE (1986), he's usually seated or leaning against something. O'Brien would go on to appear in Massaccesi's final ATOR film QUEST FOR THE MIGHTY SWORD (1990) and Michele Soavi's THE SECT, aka THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER (1991), before retiring from acting in 1994 after severely injuring his hip in another fall. He died in 2003 at the age of 73.

Cult Movie Trash: ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE (1983)

ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE
(Italy - 1983)

Written and directed by David Hills (Aristide Massaccesi).  Cast: Miles O'Keeffe, Sabrina Siani, Edmund Purdom, Laura Gemser, Ritza Brown, Dakkar.  (PG, 92 mins)

The success of 1982's CONAN THE BARBARIAN spawned an entire subgenre of mostly Italian-made barbarian/sword & sorcery ripoffs that flooded drive-ins, video stores, and cable in the early 1980s.  One of the most recognizable is 1983's ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE, written and directed by Italian exploitation legend Aristide Massaccesi (1936-1999).  Massaccesi was known for extreme gore classics like 1979's BURIED ALIVE and 1981's ANTHROPOPHAGUS (aka THE GRIM REAPER) and numerous BLACK EMANUELLE films but dabbled in every genre imaginable, including hardcore porn, and had worked under countless pseudonyms, with "Joe D'Amato" being the most commonly known.  He uses two on ATOR:  as writer/director, he's "David Hills," and functioning as his own cinematographer, he's "Frederick Slonisco."  ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE, just released on DVD in a surprisingly nice-looking 1.78 anamorphic transfer by Scorpion, was one of the first CONAN ripoffs to hit theaters, and unlike its inspiration, keeps things generally clean and PG-rated, much like 1984's CONAN THE DESTROYER would.

'80s Italian barbarian movie fixture
Sabrina Siani, with Miles O'Keeffe.

Starring as Ator is Tennessee native Miles O'Keeffe, who made a splash in 1981, co-starring with Bo Derek in the highly-publicized laughingstock TARZAN THE APE MAN.  Because of this fiasco, O'Keeffe's Hollywood A-list career ended as quickly as it began, but he found plenty of work in Italy throughout the 1980s and in numerous low-budget American DTV titles in the 1990s.  He went on to play Ator in two of the three sequels in addition to starring in the British-made EXCALIBUR knockoff SWORD OF THE VALIANT for Cannon in 1984 and appearing as Dracula in Anthony Hickox's 1988 cult horror favorite WAXWORK.  Now 58, O'Keeffe hasn't appeared in a feature since the 2005 DTV horror film CLAWED: THE LEGEND OF SASQUATCH, though he did get a bit of notoriety in the UK around 1999-2000 when comedian/talk-show host and O'Keeffe superfan Graham Norton would routinely prank call him, which eventually led to O'Keeffe appearing on Norton's show, much to the host's delight.

Black Emanuelle herself, Laura Gemser,
sending a subtle message to Ator.

ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE opens with a hopelessly confusing exposition voiceover by mellifluously-voiced dubbing veteran Tony La Penna.  Something about newborn Ator (who's born looking eight months old and, judging from the camera angle, appears to slide out of his mother's womb already cozily pre-swaddled) being your typical Chosen One to bring down the evil reign of Thulsa, er, I mean, Dakkar the Spider King (who, as luck would have it, is played by the actor Dakkar, of ZOMBIE).  The infant Ator is given to a couple to live in anonymity until he is old enough to take on Dakkar.  Years later, Ator marries his (adoptive) sister Sunya (Ritza Brown), who is abducted by Dakkar and his evil followers.  After being trained by mentor Griba (Edmund Purdom), Ator sets off on his quest with bandit/warrior Roon (Sabrina Siani) and his trusty bear cub sidekick Keog, who gives the film's best performance. Keog is introduced in this scene, which also features one of the greatest dialogue exchanges in cinema history.

From Ator's heroic quest and his various adventures to Dakkar's very James Earl Jones-ish presence to Carlo Maria Cordio's obviously Basil Poledouris-inspired score, ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE is about as blatant a ripoff of CONAN THE BARBARIAN as you can imagine.  The only real differences are the PG-rating and that Ator's quest is motivated by his new bride, so there's no hookup with Roon.  He's hypnotized and almost seduced by an evil witch (Laura Gemser), echoing an early CONAN vignette.  He's ultimately rescued by Roon, but not before Massaccesi gives us some shots of Gemser oiling her hands and holding a slithering snake, because he's still Joe D'Amato at heart and probably can't resist.  And instead of a giant snake, Ator battles a really hokey-looking giant spider.  ATOR was clearly made fast and cheap, but given his roots as a cinematographer, Massaccesi does manage to offer some frequently very well-staged shots and beautiful scenery, even if it's accidental.  O'Keeffe seems to invest a little more into this than he would his later Italian films, such as THE LONE RUNNER, where he appears to be half-asleep.  The 20-year-old Siani is effectively cast as Roon, clearly modeled on Sandahl Bergman's Valeria from CONAN.  Siani quickly became the go-to female lead for Italian CONAN knockoffs, appearing in THE INVINCIBLE BARBARIAN and Lucio Fulci's CONQUEST later the same year, and THE SWORD OF THE BARBARIANS and THE THRONE OF FIRE in 1984.  Audiences were losing interest in the barbarian genre by 1985-1986, but I'm still surprised that Siani was never given her own RED SONJA knockoff to headline.

ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE is a total cheesefest, but it's good fun for '80s Eurotrash ripoff completists, and it's never looked as good as it does on Scorpion's DVD.  The film was enough of a success to spawn three sequels.  THE BLADE MASTER (1984), again directed by Massaccesi as "David Hills," finds Ator (O'Keeffe, also returning) and his Asian sidekick Thong (Chen Wong) teaming up to help Ator's mentor Akronas (Charles Borromel), who has discovered something called the Geometric Nucleus that's fallen into the hands of the evil Zor (David Brandon).  Or something like that.  THE BLADE MASTER is pretty terrible, and is better known under its alternate MST3K title CAVE DWELLERS, which became one of that show's most popular episodes ("How much Keeffe is in this movie, anyway?").  The MST3K crew have said that O'Keeffe contacted them at some point to request a copy of the CAVE DWELLERS episode and that he really enjoyed it, which is very much in line with his willingness to self-deprecatingly guest on Graham Norton's TV show.  O'Keeffe may have been a washout as Tarzan, but he managed to keep working, and if nothing else, seems to be a good sport about the number of bad movies he's headlined.

O'Keeffe returned as Ator in 1987's dismal IRON WARRIOR.  I'm not entirely sure this is meant to be an official Ator sequel.  It was made by others (producer Ovidio G. Assonitis, director Alfonso Brescia, aka "Al Bradley"), and O'Keeffe doesn't appear to be playing the same Ator that he did in the two previous films.  In this one, Ator is revealed to have a twin brother who was possessed by an evil witch and turned into the evil Iron Warrior, a pawn in her plot to kill the king and his princess daughter (Savina Gersak) and usurp the throne.  Brescia, who helmed a lot of coma-inducingly dull post-STAR WARS sci-fi films like WAR OF THE ROBOTS in the late '70s, managed to go his entire career without making a good film, but IRON WARRIOR is probably his best-looking one, simply because Assonitis had access to a little more money.  The film still makes no sense and shamelessly rips off past blockbusters like SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE, and O'Keeffe doesn't even seem to be entirely awake.

Massaccesi and his "David Hills" moniker made a triumphant return for the final chapter of the ATOR saga, 1990's QUEST FOR THE MIGHTY SWORD, aka ATOR III: THE HOBGOBLIN (further evidence to suggest that IRON WARRIOR wasn't supposed to be an Ator film).  O'Keeffe sat this one out, forcing Massaccesi to do his best Dick York-to-Dick Sargent with Ator now played by one Eric Allen Kramer, perhaps best known for appearing as Little John in Mel Brooks' ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS (1992).  Kramer, sounding like Seth Rogen and looking like Philip Seymour Hoffman in a bad wig, plays both Ator and Ator's son (also named Ator).  Ator Jr must help an imprisoned goddess (Margaret Lenzey) and in the process, battles a two-headed robot, a guy in a half-melted Godzilla costume, and an evil troll left over from the Massaccesi-produced TROLL 2.   Other than Eurocult legends like Donald O'Brien (DOCTOR BUTCHER, M.D.), Marisa Mell (DANGER: DIABOLIK), and a brief appearance by a returning Laura Gemser (playing a different character than she did in ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE), there's little reason to watch QUEST FOR THE MIGHTY SWORD unless you love bad movies.  Interestingly, QUEST was shot with direct sound since a large number of cast members spoke English, and one highlight comes from Lenzey clearly and painfully flubbing a line and Massaccesi just leaving it in the finished movie.  You can even see the other two actors seemingly waiting for someone...ANYONE...to yell "Cut."