THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY (US/UK - 2016) Directed by Louis Leterrier. Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Phil Johnston and Peter Baynham. Cast: Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Penelope Cruz, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson, Gabourey Sidibe, Ian McShane, Barkhad Abdi, Scott Adkins, Tamsin Egerton, Sam Hazeldine, Nick Boraine, Annabelle Wallis, Ricky Tomlinson, David Harewood, Yusuf Hafri. (R, 83 mins) With his mockumentaries BORAT (2006) and BRUNO (2009), Sacha Baron Cohen displayed a razor sharp wit in his holding up a funhouse mirror to America seen through the eyes of outsiders. He continued in a similar vein with the narrative comedy THE DICTATOR (2012). But with THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY, his latest scripting and starring effort, Baron Cohen pretty much abandons any kind of social/political commentary and goes straight for the grossout/raunch crowd, displaying a positively Sandlerian level of crude laziness with gags that play like he stole them from the dumpster outside the Farrelly Brothers' office. Baron Cohen is too smart to confuse any of this for bold transgression. The sole saving grace is the seething slow burn of veteran character actor Mark Strong, who manages to maintain his dignity to a point--that point being when Baron Cohen's script has him drenched in elephant cum. Twice. In what must set a new standard in damning with faint praise, the best thing one can say about THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY is that it's marginally better than DIRTY GRANDPA.
28 years after being left an orphan and separated from his beloved little brother, Nobby (Baron Cohen) is a soccer-obsessed father of 11 (with names like Skeletor, Tsunami, and Gangnam Style) and grandfather of one (Django Unchained), with his nympho wife Dawn (Rebel Wilson) and living in the depressing industrial five-nuclear-reactor town of Grimsby, the "twin city to Chernobyl." He gets word that his little brother will be at a London reception (yes, the establishing shot of London, with the London Eye ferris wheel and the Thames is accompanied by the caption "London, England") to honor young, wheelchair-bound AIDS activist Schlomo Khashidi (Yusuf Hafri), hosted by actress and humanitarian Rhonda George (Penelope Cruz). The long-lost little brother turns out to be Sebastian Graves (Strong), a lethal superspy working for a covert division of MI-6, there to take out international assassin Pavel Lukashenko (Scott Adkins). Nobby surprises Sebastian, who compromises the shot and ends up shooting young Schlomo, whose AIDS-tainted blood lands in the open-sore-filled mouth of celebrity attendee Daniel Radcliffe (played by an impersonator), while Lukashenko's remote controlled gun takes out the head of the World Health Organization. With the mayhem pinned on him and MI-6 deeming him a traitor, Sebastian is forced to go on the run with the hapless Nobby and follow the trail all the way to South Africa and ultimately to the FIFA finals in Chile to find Lukashenko and clear his name.
Along the way, it's endless toilet humor--literally in some cases. Nobby is forced to pretend to be Sebastian after the secret agent accidentally injects himself with heroin Nobby bought from a Cape Town dealer (Barkhad Abdi, obviously unable to parlay that CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Oscar nod into anything resembling a career bump). Nobby is sent to seduce the wife (Annabelle Wallis) of an arms dealer, but confuses her with hotel maid Banu (PRECIOUS' Gabourey Sidibe, in a humiliating role), who's wearing a similar dress, which leads to an extended shot of Baron Cohen with his face buried between Sidibe's ass cheeks, with an insert shot of what's supposed to be the Oscar-nominated actress' extremely unkempt crotch area. Sebastian is shot in the scrotum with a poisoned dart, forcing Nobby to suck the poison out of his brother's ballsack, Baron Cohen wrapping his mouth around Strong's stunt sack as Sebastian teabags Nobby ("You came on my face!" Nobby yells, with Sebastian replying "It was a tiny amount of pre-ejaculate at most. Grow up!"). Horny Dawn goes commando and pulls a BASIC INSTINCT on Nobby, opening her thighs and queefing in his face ("That wasn't me bum!" she says), and then ripping a loud fart ("That was me bum!"). At a health spa, Nobby falls face first into some wax and then lands on a guy's crotch, emerging with a curly goatee except for where the guy's dick entered his mouth. A weakened, AIDS-stricken "Daniel Radcliffe" is later shot at the FIFA finals, with his tainted blood going into the mouth of attendee Donald Trump. But the biggest set piece, and the one where Baron Cohen's career may very well end, has Nobby and Sebastian fleeing psychotic MI-6 mad dog Chilcott (Sam Hazeldine) and hiding inside the spacious confines of a female elephant's vagina. Just as Chilcott and his men leave, Nobby starts crawling out only to be stopped by an aroused male elephant who mounts the female, with Nobby and Sebastian sharing the vagina with a giant elephant cock. "You stroke him and I'll cradle the balls!" Nobby advises, as Sebastian is soon drenched in gallons of elephant jizz. When they try to exit, they're again thwarted by a second male elephant about to have his way with the female, followed by a line of elephants forming for what Nobby deems "an elephant bukkake fuck party." And then Sebastian is covered in elephant cum again, while Nobby is anally violated by another male elephant.
It's worth mentioning that Baron Cohen and co-writer Peter Baynham got Oscar nominations for writing BORAT, and that their other co-writer here (Phil Johnston), co-scripted WRECK-IT-RALPH and the current hit ZOOTOPIA. The director is former Luc Besson protege Louis Leterrier (TRANSPORTER 2, THE INCREDIBLE HULK), and the second-unit action duties were handled by JOHN WICK director Chad Stahelski. There is some genuine talent here and the end result is so utterly embarrassing that as the credits rolled, the exiting audience members (both of us) didn't even want to make eye contact. It's lazy, it's beyond juvenile, and it's simply not funny, whether it's the recurrent anal fixation, the pointless AIDS jokes, and consistently unfunny grossout humor at the expense of plus-sized women. "Shock" doesn't necessarily equal "funny," and Baron Cohen is a smart enough writer and performer to know the difference (the only sign of vintage Baron Cohen that shows is when Nobby discovers the rush of firing a weapon, concluding "I can see why people love guns! It completely distances you from the guilt of your actions!"). THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY is a draggy slog even at just 83 minutes, and the fact that there are seven credited editors is indicative of compromised product with which no one really knew what to do (half the shots and lines in the trailer aren't even in the finished movie, and the set-up is so rushed and truncated that it's never really explained how Nobby finds out Sebastian will be in London). Baron Cohen is all about poking people with sticks to get a response, but what exactly was the endgame here? Whatever went wrong, let's just hope that he got it out of his system and can go back to being the bold provocateur he's capable of being, because THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY would be damn near unwatchable were it not for the heroic efforts of Mark Strong.
Directed by Louis Leterrier. Written by Ed Solomon, Boaz Yakin, and Edward Ricourt. Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Melanie Laurent, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Common, Michael Kelly, David Warshofsky, Jose Garcia, Caitriona Balfe. (PG-13, 110 mins)
A sort-of OCEAN'S MAGICIANS if you will, the fast-paced NOW YOU SEE ME is a light-hearted and mostly enjoyable caper movie that has elaborate, large-scale heists being pulled off by a team of celebrity illusionists. The team--dubbed "The Four Horsemen"--consists of the cocky J. Daniel Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), mentalist/hypnotist Merritt Osbourne (Woody Harrelson), escape artist Henley Reeves (Isla Fisher), and con man Jack Wilder (Dave Franco), assembled a year earlier when they were scraping by as small-time hustlers and street magicians, brought together by an elusive fifth horseman. The Four Horsemen stage the first of three jobs as part of a mysterious plan that, of course, doesn't reveal itself until the very end: first they somehow empty a bank vault in Paris while on stage in Vegas. Then, in New Orleans, they drain the bank account of their sponsor and insurance magnate Arthur Tressler (Michael Caine) and deposit the money into the accounts of the audience members, all victims of Hurricane Katrina whose claims were shot down by Tressler's company. Finally, they plot to steal a huge safe in NYC. But why?
Irate FBI agent Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo) teams with French Interpol agent Alma Dray (Melanie Laurent) to investigate, but can't hold the Horsemen because there's really no proof that they did anything. The magic isn't real and despite their open admission of guilt, they can't be detained or charged because, as Doug Henning might say, "it's an illusion!" Also tracking the Horsemen is Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman), a magic expert who hosts a popular cable TV show that exposes and debunks magic tricks and those who perform them. Bradley is being paid $5 million by a mystery benefactor to expose the Horsemen and their tricks, and Rhodes immediately suspects him to be the fifth Horseman.
"The closer you look, the less you'll actually see" is a common refrain for the characters in NOW YOU SEE ME, and with the inevitable twist--and it's a whopper--the film kinda flies off the rails a bit. The filmmakers--director Louis Leterrier (TRANSPORTER 2, THE INCREDIBLE HULK) and writers Ed Solomon (MEN IN BLACK), Boaz Yakin (FRESH, SAFE), and Edward Ricourt--generally play fair when you go back and re-examine the film upon learning the fifth horseman's identity, but it does get a little silly by the end, and the subplot about the secret magician's society and the "Eye of Horus" never really comes together. But when NOW YOU SEE ME is focused on the caper and the characters, it's great fun throughout. The banter between the magicians is well-played, particularly by Eisenberg and Harrelson, and Ruffalo's teeth-gritting slow burn throughout, especially when losing his patience with Eisenberg (playing his SOCIAL NETWORK smug condescension act for laughs) or in his verbal sparring with Freeman (illustrating a trick, Freeman asks "What's the magic word?" to which Ruffalo replies "Blow me") is very entertaining. The film tries too hard to knock your socks off by the end, and of course you can pick it apart and see the lapses in logic if you really want to (and there's too much CGI in some of the magic trickery), but we're not dealing with THE ASPHALT JUNGLE, BOB LA FLAMBEUR, or THIEF here. It's a summer movie with laughs, suspense, and a likable cast (even Freeman is uncharacteristically loose throughout, and it's always great to see an enraged Caine spitting out his dialogue), but it finally stumbles when it isn't content to just be what it is. Another script polish--and fleshing out or just eliminating all the Horus stuff--might've made a good movie better, but as it is, it's still quite fun.
