DETENTION
(US - 2012)
DETENTION opened in limited release last spring to mostly negative but a few inexplicably positive reviews that occasionally used terms like "anarchic," "postmodern," and "deconstruction." Really? Because it's basically a '90s-fixated hipster version of a Friedberg/Seltzer spoof/reference movie. Just because the references are snarkier and dated doesn't give it any intellectual substance or value as some sort of "commentary." It's not enough for someone to say "You're as funny as Bronson Pinchot," but then a chyron has to pop up on the screen that reads "PERFECT STRANGERS (TV series) 1986-1993." What can you say about a film where the presence of Dane Cook is one of its more positive elements? Directed and co-written by music video vet Joseph Kahn (who mockingly references his own 2004 action flick TORQUE, in addition to a character saying slasher films are a way for music video directors to fund their coke habit), the exhausting, headache-inducing DETENTION wastes an appealing Shanley Caswell as cynical Grizzly Lake high school outcast Riley, who's at the center of students being gruesomely offed by horror franchise icon Cinderhella. Then the story goes off on a time travel tangent in the second half, with Riley and skateboarding cool kid Clapton (Josh Hutcherson of THE HUNGER GAMES) going back to 1992 to stop the school from being blown up by a bomb.
In lieu of a coherent story, DETENTION just tosses rapid fire, mostly 1990s (also some 1980s and 2000s) references with wild, random abandon, including but not limited to (in no particular order): ROAD HOUSE, Patrick Swayze, UNDER SIEGE, ON DEADLY GROUND, Steven Seagal, Sting's "Fields of Gold," C + C Music Factory, mullets, SCREAM, Neve Campbell, THE BREAKFAST CLUB, FREAKY FRIDAY, Hoobastank, VOLCANO, Michael Keaton, "Eat my shorts!," YU-GI-OH, C. Thomas Howell, Cronenberg's THE FLY, DONNIE DARKO, "Gotta fled," THE LAWNMOWER MAN, Frank Whaley, Christian Slater, TOTAL RECALL, Hanson's "Mmm Bop," FREEJACK on laserdisc, BEVERLY HILLS 90210, grunge, "As if!," 50 Cent, THE KARATE KID, Backstreet Boys, and, of course, a Ron Jeremy cameo. Fuck off.
(R, 93 mins).
JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI
(US - 2012)
Marvelous documentary focusing on 85-year-old Jiro Ono, master sushi chef and owner of Sukiyabashi Jiro, a legendary restaurant located under a Tokyo office building near a subway tunnel. The restaurant, rated a best-possible three stars by Michelin's Tokyo guide, seats ten people, and there's a one-month waiting list to get in. Jiro is meticulous to the point of obsession. He prepares each piece to make it better than the last, and has a crew of apprentices working under him, headed by his 50-year-old son Yoshikazu, who never thought he'd be an apprentice for so long but accepts that it's the eldest son's duty to succeed his father when he retires or "when the inevitable happens." Even a heart attack at 70 didn't stop Jiro from what seems to be his only passion. He's stoical and wise, and even Tokyo's leading food critic admits to being intimidated by his presence. We don't learn much about Jiro's leisure time, because there isn't any. He works from 5:00 am to 10:00 pm, seven days a week (he regards national holidays as "lost time") in pursuit of perfect sushi, and readily admits "I wasn't much of a father." He mentions his wife once, but we never see her or his home. His younger son Takashi runs a more laid-back, less-expensive version of Sukiyabashi Jiro in another area of Tokyo (depending on what's available and the quality of the fish, it's a minimum of 30,000 yen, or approximately $383 US, for a visit to Sukiyabashi Jiro), and seems to be happy to not have to deal with the pressure put on Yoshikazu, who has taken a more active role behind the scenes since Jiro's heart attack. Director David Gelb follows Yoshikazu as he visits Tokyo's fish vendors, procuring the finest live fish for preparation at the restaurant. Sushi lovers, who tend to be passionate about it, will find the preparation scenes fascinating. And there's an absolutely beautiful sequence where Jiro serves the food critic and his party in perfectly-choreographed fashion, almost like he's conducting a symphony. And it's appropriate--sushi is Jiro's passion, not just as a chef but as his form of artistic expression. Despite a seemingly limited appeal, JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI became a minor arthouse hit in theaters, and even if you aren't a sushi connoisseur (though it probably helps) or find Jiro a little
too obsessed with his work, the film is a fascinating portrait of one of Japan's national treasures.
(PG, 82 mins)
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