(Netherlands - 2015)
Written and directed by Tom Six. Cast: Dieter Laser, Laurence R. Harvey, Eric Roberts, Robert LaSardo, Tommy "Tiny" Lister, Clayton Rohner, Bree Olson, Tom Six, Jay Tavare, Akihiro Kitamura, Bill Hutchens, Carlos Ramirez, Peter Blankenstein. (Unrated, 103 mins)
When it was released in 2010, Tom Six's "100% Medically Accurate" THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE became a legitimate pop culture phenomenon. The saga of a mad doctor (Dieter Laser, still one of the greatest names ever) surgically connecting three unfortunate victims mouth-to-anus to form a "human centipede" with one shared digestive tract was original, to say the least. Late night talk show hosts cracked jokes about it and it didn't even take long for it to be brilliantly parodied on SOUTH PARK. Taken on its own terms, it's a ridiculous yet reasonably effective film that's significantly less graphic than you think, with a genuinely creepy performance by Laser, who does go over the top on occasion, but deservedly enjoyed a very brief run as a horror icon. Six quickly followed it up with 2011's dismal THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 (FULL SEQUENCE), a grimy, ugly sequel, shot in black and white, where a socially inept, British HUMAN CENTIPEDE superfan (Laurence R. Harvey) kidnaps a dozen people to form a crude, surgically unskilled 12-person human centipede which includes one of the first film's stars, Ashlyn Yennie, playing herself, coerced into showing up in London after Harvey pretends to be Quentin Tarantino calling her to set up an audition. The sequel was Six's response to the first film's naysayers, many of whom condemned the film without even seeing it, based just on its concept and what they figured it depicted. With the sequel, Six went completely overboard, wallowing in the scatological and showing all of the shit, piss, puke, phlegm, and other bodily functions (plus the squashing of a baby's head) that were missing from the comparatively tactful first entry. Whatever sense of class Six brought to THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE was thoroughly obliterated by FULL SEQUENCE, which was essentially a feature-length tantrum. It's so bad that it retroactively worsens its predecessor.
- "Circumcised Jewish goat-fuckers!"
- "Mother-fisting, baby-raping Mexican lowlifes!"
- "Pubic-hair-bearded Islamic halal pigs!"
- "Beaten-up women make me so horny!" (after Daisy is beaten during a prison riot)
- "Even in a coma, I'll make you squirt!" (said as he has sex with a comatose, post-riot Daisy)
And that's not counting the copious N-words (or "monkey" in Boss' more reflective moments) or other puerile shock tactics, whether it's Boss ripping off one inmate's colostomy bag and shooting him in the colon only to cause an eruption of blood and liquid shit, or a nightmare sequence where LaSardo's furious inmate gets revenge for his castration by slicing open Boss' side and raping him in the kidney. Scenes like this go on and on, with Laser's acting abandoning all illusions of characterization and instead coming off as an all-consuming seizure. It's obvious Six fancies himself some provocateur, but he's really just a grosser, ass-to-mouth-fixated Uwe Boll, offering nothing satirical, with his attempts at going meta very sporadically amusing but mostly failing to live up to their potential. So what we're left with is a thoroughly pointless endeavor anchored by one of the most unbearable, headache-inducing lead performances in the history of cinema.